My Heart Is Where My Home Is

I am generally pretty independent and brave. I don't get nervous easily or homesick often.

But I'm no super-woman, and sometimes I'm just lonely.

Tonight is one of those times. How can I be lonely, you ask? I don't know. I'm surrounded by friends I absolutely adore nearly 24/7. Today was no exception, I went to a house showing, got coffee with a friend, went out to dinner, procrastinated with Taylor as usual. There is no lack of business and activity in my life. But every now and then I feel a hole in me that can only be filled by a hug from my mom or a song from my dad.

On nights like this, when I'm thinking and not sleeping, my heart always goes back to my sweet family. Sure, I enjoy being self-sufficient, but at the end of the day (quite literally) I realize how blessed I am to have them. My brother Sam's witty jokes and endless hugs. His constant drawing and movie quoting. (Sam, your drawings blow my stick figures out of the proverbial water. You are truly talented.) Dad's messes from constant construction projects. The strumming of his guitar coupled with his light, airy voice. Jess's inexhaustible energy and bouncing and running and talking. His hair flips and "I love you's". Mom's morning cup of chai and her shelves of books. Her love of conversation and the hugs only she can give. This is home. I can feel it, smell it, hear it, see it.
 

Everything has moved so quickly since I left for school that I never really thought I was "leaving home". I often forget that I don't live at home anymore. I'll only be there for less than a month this summer and for a few weeks during the year. Will home ever be "home" again? I don't really know how to handle all the transitioning in life, but I have a feeling it never ends.

When I'm feeling lonely, I don't know what else to do but thank God for it. So many kids go to college to escape their families or get away from their town. So, thank you God, for homesickness, because I reminds me of the ways you've blessed me. Tonight, when my heart is where my home is, I thank God that he has given me a family that I love enough to miss.

(Disclaimer: If you're anyone except my mom, sorry about the mushy-sentimentality of this post, but, that's what I get for drinking coffee at night and expecting to sleep at a reasonable hour. If you are my mom, you can stop crying now ;) )

What do you do to remedy loneliness? Is it a new thought to treat it as a blessing in disguise?

I hope your week has been nothing but wonderful!

~Olivia

Spring Break!

Despite the sad circumstances surrounding it (see 2 posts ago), I had a wonderful spring break. It was great to relax with my family for an entire week. I went home to North Platte, Nebraska (I know, I know, not the "glamorous" break location a lot of people enjoy....but hey, I love it anyway) with my sweet friend Taylor.
Here are a few photos to sum up the week:

 We trekked to the river to watch the mass migration of cranes that come through every year. (Ask anyone who has lived in Nebraska, it's a big deal). I got some lovely pictures to boot.

 My adorable parents :)

 There isn't anything like a good old Mid-western sunset.

 

 I met the newest member of the family, Lucy, for the first time over break. I think I fell in love. She is the sweetest little ray of sunshine.

 

Last, but definitely not least, we got to see Beauty and the Beast at the Denver Center on the very last night of break. It was such an enchanting performance! Beauty and the Beast has always been one of my favorite stories. Maybe just because Belle is brunette and likes to read. But nevertheless, it was my childhood dream to see it live on stage and the perfect end to a lovely week.

Sorry about the horrible quality of this photo, but it's proof the night happened :)

Happy weekend!

Winter is Dead

“She turned to the sunlight

    And shook her yellow head,

And whispered to her neighbor:

    "Winter is dead.”

~ A.A. Milne "When We Were Very Young"

Happy first day of Spring! There is something decidedly beautiful about today.


That's all I have to say.

Now I'm off to American Lit.


Have a wonderful Tuesday!

In Loving Memory

Apparently I've been on an unintentional blogging hiatus. Life took me for a spin, and blogging took a backseat (no pun intended...my writing ability took a hiatus too). But- never fear- I am back!

Later this week I'll post about my spring break and other ideas I've been cooking up, but for now, I want to dedicate an entire post to the strongest and most loving woman I've ever had the privilege of knowing: my Grandma Judy. 

(Pardon my depressing expression...I probably didn't know this photo would end up online)

In the midst of midterms and packing for spring break, I received the horrible news that my Grandma Judy was passing away. For years, she was battling a host of terrible health problems (lung and rectal cancer and COPD mainly) and we knew it was only a matter of time before the disease overtook her. I received the call during dinner and ran outside to tell her goodbye. It was the hardest phone call I've ever made. She passed away later that night- swept into the arms of her Saviour, free from her suffering forever.

No words I say could ever do her justice- she inspired me and encouraged me and taught me more than she ever knew. I want to share part of the letter I wrote her that night after she passed away, so that you can get a small peek into the incredible person she was.

Dear Grandma Judy, 

Tonight you are with Jesus. No more pain, no more cancer, no more breathing tubes, only joy. I can't imagine what you're experiencing right now and honestly, I wish I could be there with you. You deserve rest. You deserve peace. You deserve the best and I'm so, so thankful your heart belonged to Jesus- even when your body failed you. 

Thank you so much for being the most wonderful grandma, friend and example a girl could ask for. You were always my biggest fan and taught me more than you know. I'll always treasure our tea parties and our trips to Ogallala. Some of my most precious memories are with you- eating your amazing dinners (especially the apple pie), cooking crab-cheese wontons with you, road trips to the west coast, trying on your jewelry, staying the night at your house and reading together before bed. I remember when I saw you in your old nightgown and thought you looked "as beautiful as Cinderella". I remember when you told me the story of when you and grandpa met. I'll always remember you before the cancer, but I'll also never forget your heroic fight against it. You never lost your sense of humor even when facing pain that no one should ever have to face. Thank you for your love of music, you inspire me to better myself and pursue my love for it. I want to make you proud. 

Though I will miss you terribly and there will always be a hole in my heart where you fit, I'm so glad you aren't in pain anymore and are whole and perfect. I love you so, so very much. 

Always, 

Olivia

<3 Olivia