Nerf Wars, Silence, and Single-Hood

Three things about living the "college-life" stand out to me right now.
1. Its loud. Always. Dorm rooms aren't exactly a restful place to find solace after a stressful day of classes. They are the opposite of that actually. There is always that one guy who blasts music unnecessarily loud from his concert sized sound system that takes up more space than his bed and desk combined. That guy's music is "serenading" me right now, which is my excuse for the jumbled mess that is this post. There are always the people who either don't have any classes (in which case, what are they doing in college?), or just enjoy sitting, singing, dancing, yelling, having nerf gun wars, or playing football in the halls so much that they never go to class. I haven't decided which.

2. It takes serious premeditation to find ways to be truly alone. Even in my room I'm not alone. I've always considered myself a "people person", but I'm realizing how much quiet, alone time helps my sanity. In Psalm 46:10, God encourages us to, "Be still and know that I am God". Finding time to "be still", time to just be, is becoming increasingly difficult, yet increasingly important. When I'm not still before God, when I don't refocus my goals for the day, when I don't make the time to "be", my mood shows it.

3. More on 1 and 2 later. Something else has been painfully obvious to me over the past few weeks. Everyone, and I do mean everyone, is either dating, in love, convinced that they're in love, engaged, or married. Being single isn't exactly a popular option. Everywhere I look there are couples. Everything I read has a "dating section". Professors, pastors, friends, and even random strangers crack dating jokes and try to "set you up". It is college, and relationships are expected. Not only that, they are encouraged.

And then there's me. 

Single for the past 18 years. What am I missing that everyone else has? Am I friends with the wrong group of people? Do I say the wrong things? Look the wrong way? (Hey, I know the cookies in the dining halls are a problem, but I'm nowhere near the freshman-15!) Do I wear the wrong clothes? Sit at the wrong tables? Is there something in my teeth?...The constant reminder of my "single-hood" haunts me, until I almost settle. Settle for less, or settle for being single. But I shouldn't have to settle. Contentment is hard to find, and waiting is hard to learn, but those are two of the most powerful lessons life can teach.
I'm learning that single-hood is a time to unashamedly pursue God's best for me, learning to love Him with everything that I have.  Even if all I have is my complaints and longings for change. Even if all I can offer is my lonely, single self.
Being single is a time to focus on myself. I can barely handle my own schedule, emotions, goals and mistakes. What makes me think I can handle someone else's? I consider my years of being "un-yolked" (to use the weird, Biblcal term) as preparation for if/when that changes. It may happen tomorrow. It may happen next year. It may never happen. But whether it does or not, I don't want it to be because I caved beneath the pressure of an expectant generation. I want it to be because I was so completely following where my Saviour led, that he "gave me the desires of my heart".

"God is very good to those who trust in Him, and He often surprises them with unlooked-for blessings. Little do we know what may happen to us tomorrow, but this sweet fact may encourage us. Chance is banished from the faith of Christians, for they see the hand of God in everything. The trivial events of today or tomorrow may involve consequences of the highest importance" - Charles Spurgeon